I confess

I still think flash mobs are neat. I know they're considered passé, but I dunno, there's something kinda magical about them, right? It's the closest we're gonna get to the world breaking out in song.

I hate it when the mean, nasty voices in my head are proven right.

Honestly, we deserve our own TV show

Andy: THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS

Me: what?

Andy: I said THE LEMONHEADS ARE COMING IN FOUR WEEKS

Me: who's coming in what weeks?

Andy: sorry, it may not have been clear
Sometimes I have a hard time being direct in my communication

Me: I'm not sure I'm getting it...

Andy: THERE IS A BAND
THAT BAND IS CALLED THE LEMONHEADS
A WEEK IS A PERIOD OF TIME CONSISTING OF SEVEN DAYS, EACH OF WHICH CONSISTS OF 24 HOURS, EACH OF WHICH CONSISTS OF 60 MINUTES, EACH OF WHICH CONSISTS OF 60 SECONDS
SO ANYWAY
IN FOUR WEEKS
THE LEMONHEADS
(the band I mentioned earlier)
IS COMING TO DENVER

Me: slow down

Andy: DENVER IS A LARGE CITY AND THE CAPITAL OF COLORADO, WHICH IS A STATE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHICH IS A COUNTRY IN NORTH AMERICA, WHICH IS A CONTINENT ON EARTH, WHICH IS A PLANET

Me: so...agh...there's a--a week that's called denver..? and it's going to be a lemon in seven days?
I'm sorry, I don't--I'm just not getting it.

Andy: you'll understand when you're older.

Me: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT TO ME

(SUPER)AGE

My dream last night featured the following:

Egyptian hieroglyphics*
Kevin Heffernan (Farva from Super Troopers)
Betrayal
Rage
The guy who played Connor in The Slammin' Salmon
Cheeto grass
Magical powers (hence the ability to turn grass into Cheetos)
Rashida Jones
Intrigue
A mystery to be solved--complete with a mystery-solving team of friends (an all-star cast!)
Vampires
Vampire Rashida Jones
Tattoos on the inside of eyelids*

*The hieroglyphics translated into what can be represented by the following:
(SUPER)AGE
which means "Super Rage." This was tattooed on the inside of Connor's eyelid. It is his very favorite hieroglyphics-based phrase. This came into play when we team members were trying to find out Connor's computer password to solve the case (he had been killed by vampire Rashida Jones, I think). We tried "SUPERAGE" but it didn't work. It was my idea to include the all-important parentheses. I woke up before I found out if it worked.

Wish you all could have been there.

Just today

I've been having a major yen for the 1990s.

A+T

Happy. Happy. Loves.

Drop, Drop Slow Tears

Drop, drop, slow tears,
And bathe those beauteous feet,
Which brought from Heav’n
The news and Prince of Peace.

Cease not, wet eyes,
His mercies to entreat;
To cry for vengeance:
Sin doth never cease.

In your deep floods
Drown all my faults and fears;
Nor let His eye see
Sin, but through my tears.



[*No, I did not write this.]

An Evening with the Giauques

Me (explaining to nephew): A palindrome is a word or phrase that's spelled the same backwards and forwards
Someone else: Like "canal."
*silence*
Me: No, not at all like "canal."

...Bless her.

This came for me in the mail today.

And I'm really excited.

You guys should be friends with us

me: I've been letting my room get really messy so I can clean it as a reward when I finish my paper.
so I'm really hurrying
...cause I'm a geek. but my room is really dirty
Andy: I've been doing something similar. tonight, I'm cleaning my WHOLE DAMN HOUSE
I'm gonna go buy a mop and everything.
me: wheee!
Andy: we can have a cleaning party and I'll come help you with yours!
me: !!

Better and better.

Let's start with this.



What could be better than that, you ask? Look no further than this:



Thank you, Russia.

I arbitrarily choose blue

In such a frenetic, feverish world with every imaginable conflicting ideal being pelted at us, is it any wonder we're all confused out of our minds?








Exactly what color am I to go?

And how can one "go" a color? Please, someone, make some sense of this.

Them olden days

Do you find it weird that I used to have the Israeli national anthem memorized?

I've found a new love

This breed of dog is somewhat new in my life, but I met one at Sundance the other day and fell in love





Still not convinced? Try not melting at THIS:



If you didn't just squeal, you're soulless and I want nothing more to do with you.

There's no time for hatred

We all know that Cold starts tomorrow, and we're all wetting our pants about it cause that's all there is to do in this town, and I admit I am no exception. I've been planning tomorrow's outfit all day, except I still have no idea what it's going to be. I've invested more thought in that topic tonight than in homework and have nothing in either category to show for it. That's okay. It'll be an outfit surprise and tomorrow will be homework-ly busy. (I accidentally typed "busty." Heh.)

Hey guys. Stop being obsessed with Etsy and telling me to buy your homemade gluey craft crap when you're not good at making anything and you're just making ugly accessories that I'm sick of seeing anyway. (That wasn't directed at anyone who reads this blog...as far as I'm aware.) Bah! Humbug!

I really really like this child:



She kind of makes my day. All the time. She's seriously an adorable spaz and I encourage any and all of you to get to know her.

That is all.

It's too late to be doing this

Guys, I just beat my old #10 score in Tetris. It's been a while since I've done that.

Would you all read a magazine article about simple ways to set up, and subsequently keep a monetary budget?
I don't think I would either, but I'm writing one. I'm trying to think of ways to make it sound like something that anyone would want to read. (That's why I'm playing Tetris...it helps me think.)

So, think about it. If you had to read an article about budgeting, first of all: would you?, and second: wait, this sentence is completely faulty. Just tell me what you think should be included/omitted in such an article. It would help me out, and also I'm just curious about what other people think.

...I'm tired.

I got too much to say for it to be important

See, I want to be stylish and also pretty. Those are things you're born with though, right?

So what you see is what you get, ladies and gentlemen. Take or leave. Even borderline frumpy, shy girls have some awesomeness and cuddliness to offer. I just don't want to turn into something you'd see on peopleofwalmart.com. Watch me. I can at least not get to that point. Unless said people are happy with they way they are. More power to them, in that case. I say, wear leopard print anything that's three sizes too small. I wouldn't wanna look at ya, but as long as you're happy. Good.

My lotion smells good though. That's one thing I can control. It smells like a fuzzy fall sweater. Mmm, fall.

If you live in the same town as I do, and you hate 98% of things in said town as much as I do, just look at the freaking mountains right now. They've got a layer of green, mossy trees all over, with fiery red accents that you couldn't make up. It gives a person some grounding and a reminder that all's not lost.

There are some decent people in this town. I love it, but I'm ready to be gone. Too much has happened.

A definite plus, this is coming back into my life within the next month or so:

American Airlines

It only makes sense that the employees of airlines would have to go to staff meetings periodically.



I wonder if American Airlines employees get a kick out of telling their families they're going to an AA meeting. I bet the families get really sick of that joke.

Hello Dear

Today I visited my MySpace page for the first time in ages--just for old times' sake, and because I ran out of ways to avoid writing my research paper. I thought I'd share with you, dear readers, a little gem sent to me a few months ago from one James Smith, a 44-year-old divorced contractor from Brooklyn. The message appears _exactly_ as I received it.

Subject: Hello Dear

Message: Hello Lovely...
How are you and how you doing i hope all is well
with you....am james and am new i just got to
this site cos i will love to meet someone i will
share the rest of my life with have been single
for 3 years now and since when i lost my
wife...well i will let you more about myself when
you write back to me and pls tell me abit of
yourself in your reply...cos am here for a serious
relationship and i will be very happy to hear back
from you son have gone throught your profile
and i must tell you i will love to spend the rest of
my life with you...i hope to hear from you soon...
let put things togerther and see the outcome...
Stay blessed..
Regards...
James.S

Yep. I really missed out. I think he could have been the One.

Mother of Days

If you are a woman and you are married, read the following. If you're neither or only one of the two, I don't care, do whatever you want.

If you want to know how well your husband really knows you, talk to retail workers the day before Mothers' Day.

For me, the day before Mothers' Day means busy work days, where the store is filled with wide-eyed, desperate men looking for a woman--any woman--who will tell them what their wives want. And they will believe that woman no matter what she says. As one such woman, I try to get a sense of the wives' personality, general likes, interests...

This is where it gets interesting. Most men have no idea what their wives would want. There are varying degrees of embarrassment, from the man barely knowing his wife's name, to the attentive ones who, before they went shopping, took a look in the medicine cabinet to see what she uses already.

So ladies, for a small fee, I will be your eyes and ears. And you can bust your husband. Cause why not?

(Men, for a slightly bigger fee, I will keep my mouth shut. For an even bigger fee, I will divulge how much money your wives _actually_ spend at that store during their regular shopping. It's kind of ridiculous.)