Afterword

I like it when I post a blog at two in the morning and immediately check my email to see if anyone's commented yet.

Take that as a hint.

Maury smells

My sister tagged me for this thing that means I have to share the fourth picture from the fourth album in my iPhoto and tell you about it. For some reason I feel obligated....Also, the fourth album in my iPhoto only has one picture in it (?) so I did it from one before or one after or something. Here you go.



This is a contraband kitten I lived with in the attic for the better part of a semester. Don't let the peaceful sleeping kitten thing fool you. He was the spawn of Satan. No one likes him. We later gave him to a family and he ran away and hopefully got run over by a car.

I tag Andrea and Kaitlyn and Austin and anyone else who reads this dumb blog.

Unprecedented

Clark tried to convince me that James Franco is 5'2". I didn't fall for it--that boy is a solid 5'10". Don't worry.

Nothing New

I tried blogging a couple times but nothing worked. I'm tired of not knowing where I stand in other people's lives. I wanna get out of here, do something that matters. I know you've all heard most of this before, but I'm just emptying the brain. Oy.

I set out fully intending to pay attention to class today. That one hundred percent did not happen. I do not know what she is talking about, nor do I know how she is doing the things she is demonstrating up front. I hate this class. I hate class. I hate having class. Wait, I don't have class. Ha.

Not funny.

My email is putting up advertisements for Dr. Pepper. Why does it think I need those. I already know how great Dr. Pepper is.

I made Pomegranate iced tea this morning. It was gross, I think cause I added too much water to it. I didn't get time to fix it, cause I was whisked away to campus. Too bad. Maybe it'll still be there when I get home so I can make it yummy again.

My roommate was super mean to me in my dream last night. One thing she said to me was that when I tell her my problems it ruins her whole day. She would never say that in real life. What does my brain think

There's an album on facebook right now that makes my life 4 times better

Up Date

It has recently come to my attention that more than most of the boys who attend BYU are exceedingly funny looking. The number is much lower for girls at said school.

I am searching for an explanation.

More later.

The morning after the night before

Poor baby.

Never ceases to amaze me

This is an excerpt from an exchange I overheard the other day. Names will be omitted to protect the guilty, and also cause I don't remember the name of one of the girls.

Girl one: It's Ramadan right now, did you know that?
Girl two: It's what?
Girl one: Ramadan. Do you know what that is?
Girl two: No, what is it?
Girl one: It's, like, the Jewish version of Lent.

Uhh, really?
How do these people survive?

Fact:

This really happened

Why I Got What I Got on Netflix

Roger Ebert said that no one can call themselves a true Beatles fan unless they've seen the movie "Help". I resent him for saying that. I'll resent him for saying that until I've seen the movie. Then I'll agree with him.

Anyone else who is petty enough to agree with me and who would like to see the movie should let me know and we'll schedule a viewing. Tonight or tomorrow night. Or possibly the next night.

Double

The people at the chocolate place were very nice to me yesterday.

Catching up

I may or may not have slept twelve hours last night. Phreek.

And now I don't think I could be feeling any worse.

Not Good

I'm not going to fall asleep anytime soon. When this happens I always start listening to the playlist on my iTunes that I'm not allowed to listen to. It's full of depressing songs but I'm only up and listening to them cause I'm depressed already and can't sleep, so why not just take it a step further. One person whose really sad songs make me the saddest is Johnny Cash. Is that weird? He doesn't have much of a voice.

My brain won't turn off or at least let slightly more sane Caitie control it. Ohhhh I'm ready for this to be over.

Direct Quote from Animal Planet

"Vultures have no trouble finding num-nums."

?

Jails

It's three a.m. now and the cops just left.

I was awoken a little over an hour ago by my roommate Allison saying "Amy! Wake up! There's a guy in our garage!" We have a detached garage that's about 3 feet behind Allison's room. She was up, and she heard movement in there so she turned off her light and could see a guy moving around in there with a cell phone as a light. I heard Allison call 911 and tell the dispatcher that we had an intruder and that she could see him in there still, so they sent the cops over. They got here fast--I saw a cop car on the street north of us in no time. By this time, I was peeking out my blinds and saw a guy stroll right past my window and go down the stairs to an apartment in the house next door (to the north of our house, and my room is on the north side of the house). So Bad Guy went down there, and then came back out and started coming back up the stairs. That's when I realized there wasn't just one cop; about five of them triangulated (I know, you can't triangulate with five) and I couldn't help thinking about the lions taking down the zebra. I found myself going "get him get him!" And they did. They shouted "GET UP HERE! GET UP HERE! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!!!" He resisted, but they got him down on the ground.

At this point, little Hillery came upstairs, terrified and having no idea what was going on, so we filled her in and we all watched the show from our beds in mine and Amy's room. Then Amy and Allison had to go fill out police reports, blah blah blah...Anyway, the cop told us that they got the guy on counts of trespassing, burglary, and resisting arrest and he's going to jail tonight. He told us the guy would get a minimum of two years for all that. Amy and Allison might have to testify in court, but the cop said he was pretty sure the guy will be in jail for quite a while.

Maybe now our landlord will believe us when we say we need better safety measures instead of just saying that the cop was "trying to scare us" like he said last time. Fun times!

I like college cause I get to eat Oreos for breakfast.

Tee-hee!

Today I pet two cross-eyed kitties.

Two different kitties.

Both cross-eyed.

Hindsight is 20/20

Now I see that English Language was the painfully obvious choice all along.

What is my problem?

Lolley Land

Click here for paintings. Simply lovely.

Click

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

Just click all over on this page and even click and drag the mouse. Cute.

This Bunny Has No face

Because I ate it.

Happy Easter

Fact:

People from Liverpool are called Liverpudlians

Can't Sleep!

I wish pillows were 33% thicker. Why don't they make thicker pillows?

Wait maybe it's just my pillows. Maybe I need new pillows.

I Want You All to Take a Look at This

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Now leave me alone.

Stop Abductions

Make your own HELMET, for your sake and your family's

Ew

Skittles should really stick to their fruity roots

It Comes Down to:

I disapprove of relationships in general. That's why I'm destined to be miserable.

Oh Now Really

Seriously. Watch.

100 Chairs in 100 days

Look

Repercussions

Since my last post, several friends have come to me and said "You've never had stuffed crust pizza?! Oh, Caitie. Ohh, it's SO GOOD." Inevitably amended with, "oh, but it's so gross."

I'm pretty excited.

I admit:

I've -always- wanted to try stuffed crust pizza.

Bad

I'm trying to make myself stop and go eat something else, but the truth is I only want to eat Ben and Jerry's for lunch.

So. Take THAT, everything Mom's taught me!

Weirdest thing anyone said to me all day:

"I like your musk. or at least what I imagine to be your musk."

Nerd.

I'm getting really tired of losing friends.




But this makes me really happy.

Boo.

The best part is, I had the worst morning and THEN I realized it was Valentine's Day. Oh boy.

I'm tired. I want sincerity.

Should I move to Salt Lake in the fall?

Ellen

Now Ellen's gotten in on it.

I laughed until I cried.

Really.

Now this is ridiculous

Conspiracy

I think Zach Condon and Andrew Bird are secretly the same person.

Couldn't Pass This Up

Sarah Brightman should thank her lucky stars she met Andrew Lloyd Webber so she wasn't stuck doing this the rest of her life

Hate

DoEs AnYoNe ElSe ReAlLy ReAlLy HaTe It WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs? CaUsE i Do. I tHiNk I mIgHt StAb ThE nExT pErSoN i CaTcH dOiNg It. It'S sUrPrIsInGlY hArD. wHy WoUlD aNyOnE wItH sUcH lImItEd BrAiN pOwEr AlReAdY wAsTe So MuCh Of It JuSt To MaKe ThEiR mYsPaCe PaGe LoOk MoRe QuIrKy?/?/

Smelly :(

Last night I had a dream that I was hugging my friend and I asked him if I smelled funny and he said yeah kind of.

I'm going to go put on some perfume now.

A couple other gems from today

Get out of here! I'm trying to watch my favorite show with my favorite toe intact!

My toes break every week! Every week they break!

--Name witheld

The Best Overheard Phone Conversation All Day

...was spoken by a guy I was walking behind on campus. It went roughly like this:

Yeah dude, we're going out to dinner tonight. And like, you know me, man, I don't like doing boring, everyday things, like things that everybody else does, especially in the Provo scene[EXACT PHRASE]. So, like, after dinner, we're going to draw pictures of each other, and...[inaudible]...fish sticks(?)...[inaudible]...you know, just something really creative like that...yeah dude. No. Dude, where do you think I'm going tonight, dude, I'm going to dinner...

I wish I could have followed him longer to hear more, but I really had to run up to the library to blog about it before I forgot anything.

Morning Theft

"You're a woman, I'm a calf.
You're a window, I'm a knife.
We come together making chance into starlight."



....???

Uh-oh

Dark chocolate snickers are reeeeaaally good.

I've

recently realized what a huge snob I am.

...sorry

Merry friggin Christmas

I was in the kitchen.

There was a pounding on the door. I called "come in."

They didn't come in, they just started singing. Because they were carolers.

I ran and hid behind Heather's dresser as they continued to knock and wish me a merry Christmas.

I am a terrible person.

It just occurred to me

me: ummm finals blow. so does this stupid computer class i'm taking. why am i taking it? someone said it was easy

amyleah: i don't know. bleh.

me: it's not easy. it sucks

amyleah: why am i even in school?

me: why am i alive?

pt. 2

You know it's getting near the end of the semester when you find yourself hoping to be hit by a car so you don't have to do your final projects.

Heather already has been hit by a car. Lucky.

Amy wants to know how to break her arms.

We are in trouble.

Finals countdown

Studying contains the word dying.

Tied with this!

Dang, I forgot. This wins most terrifying.

This year's winner

...of the semi-annual birthday drawing contest is:



by Amy L. Nelson

A Wonderful Thing

Amy and I turned on the heat to our house today.

It was 55 degrees in our house at the warmest part of the day. We figured it was time.

busted

Has this ever happened to you?

My eyes are cold.

Also I think I sprayed straightening spray in one of them. I'm convinced the two events are unrelated though.

A Complement to Us All

"We don't have any grotesquely unattractive friends."

Thanks from us all, Amy.

Next

A sextet, featuring John, Pearl, and some new friends!

So you like John Daker?

Meet his friends. First is Pearl Gross, with bonus material: stand-up comedy

A stolen question

Would you rather be ridiculously good at one thing or mediocre at many things?

When asked this question, I said I would want to be really good at one thing if that thing were learning how to do things really well. Friend said that didn't count.

So you can't use that one.

Downer

I burned a whole pan of brownies today :(

This ended up being kinda funny

Otherwise I wouldn't post it.

Put your iTunes on shuffle and ask the iTunes Gods each of the following questions or scenerios

What were you like as a baby?
Song: Something--the Beatles

How was your childhood?
Song: Arrival to Netherfield--from Pride & Prejudice (yeah not funny--this one doesn't make sense)

How was high school for you?
Song: Bachelorette--Bjork.

Your first kiss?
Song: Like Eating Glass--Bloc Party. Yikes.

Your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Song: I'm a Believer--The Monkees

Describe your Wedding.
Song: A Mistake--Fiona Apple

The person you're going to marry.
Song: Mean Mr. Mustard--The Beatles (I'm not making these up)

How are you going to die?
Song: The Boy With the Thorn in His Side--The Smiths

Describe your funeral.
Song: Find My Baby--Moby (??)

How do you feel about religion?
Song: My Baby Just Cares for Me--Nina Simone

(And my personal favorite):
What do you do on vacations?
Song: Stoned--Dido

Mission Accomplished

One month. No soda. Done.

I just drank like 32 ounces of DP. Crap.

I have a dream.

The other night I had a dream that I, along with Amy and Heather, rejoined my children's choir. However, we were all in my CHum class that I am currently sitting in which meets from 3-4.20 on the same day as rehearsal (in real life my class goes from 4-5.20. Oh well). So we had to alternate between missing class every other week and missing choir. I can't tell you how stressful it was.

"You look like Satan!"

Thanks, brother-in-law Andy.

All right then

In response to Austin's comment on my previous post, here is said joke:

Q: What's the opposite of George Strait?
A: George Michael

It was funny at the time.

The worst

It's the worst thing to make up a really funny joke on the way to school, and laugh at it all day, only to realize, several hours later, that it really wasn't funny at all.

Who wouldn't?

I would like someone to rig up a video camera inside a dishwasher while it's running, so I can see just what's going on in there.

Wouldn't you?

Thank you, WebMd

I think it's a boil!

I suddenly feel less remarkable.

It's happened

The day I dreaded arrived: at work a man asked me, surreptitiously, if we sold any edible products such as lotions and oils.

I stood there staring at him for a minute before I could say, "Uh, no, we have nothing edible."

"Oh OK, so it just smells good?" he asked.

"Yeah. I wouldn't recommend eating any of our products."

Shudder.

Um.

I don't like it when couples or men come into my store looking for massage oil.

It turns out...

pregnant women are jerks.

...and Family

This one time, my sister sang in sacrament meeting in my parents' ward and my niece gave a talk in primary and no one told me about it.

This other time, I told my family, hey, if you ever go to ______ again, tell me, cause I want to go. Then that weekend I went to my house and no one was there and I called my mom to see where they were and they were at that place and they said they forgot about me.

Another time they went to dinner and didn't tell me about it. Twice.

Another time my mom said, "oh we forgot to call you about________, but I'll call you tonight and tell you what we're doing." She then proceeded to forget.

Around this same time my mom said, and I quote exactly, "You need to check in with me every once in a while so that I remember that I have a sixth child." I had talked to her earlier that day.

So very very loved.

Friends

I decided that I'm going to only be friends with my niece cause she likes me a lot more than everyone else does.

Just kidding I like you

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Everything Jeff Buckley touches turns to gold.

(http://hypem.com/search/jeff%20buckley/1/
Listen to his cover of Elton John's "Curtains". and if you have time, his cover of The Smiths' "I Know It's Over.")

Classy Stuff and Music and Drugs

Sometimes I call Ralph the dog "Rafe" like Ralph Vaughn Williams. It just makes him seem classier. And it makes me happy. His toes are clicking on the tile. Also makes me happy.

Guys, I read this story yesterday that my creative writing teacher recommended to me cause it was about music and I wrote a thing about music once and he said I'd like this story. I did, cause the writing was really good but it was depressing. He said my story and this story were similar in content and evoking blah blah blah...but I read it and the big difference is, in my story the effects of music were positive. In this one, it seemed, music was an escape for this guy from life's pains. Music and also heroin.

But it was a cool story though cause it made the point about how everyone is trying to escape something painful in life and everyone has different methods of doing that. It contrasted these two brothers, a straight-laced school teacher and a jazz musician who keeps getting busted for drugs, and eventually the first brother comes to understand how the second brother is able to deal with pain through his music.

Pretty cool.

Malcolm just put his head on my wrist and now it's hard to type.

Addiction

It's gotten bad.

Oddity

Sometimes I go to my blog and am disappointed to see that there's been nothing new posted.

Gay Pride

Get it?

Dear Africa:

Wow.

Love,
Caitie

At last

We somehow got to Dubai. We had to wait in JFK for 12 hours to be put on standby for an 11.00 pm flight since we missed our 11.30 am flight on account of our flight from Salt Lake being 6 1/2 hours late. Wheee! It's a long story, you don't want to know.

Well ok, here it is: Our flight from SLC kept getting pushed back for some reason, and left after 6.00 am when it was supposed to leave at midnight. So we got to JKF at 12.30 and our flight to Dubai left at 11.30. The Emirates airline lady was kind of a jerk and said the flights that night, as well as for the next 3 days or so, were completely full and good luck getting standby for any of them. We were wondering what to do, or if we'd have to by all new tickets on a different airline or what. We decided to try our luck on the 11.00 or 11.15 one that night.

The lady said this booth would open up at 4 so we could be put on standby. So we went at 3 to be first there in line. When it did open, the computer wasn't working, so we waited 45 minutes for the tech guy to come fix it. Anyway, we eventually learned that we couldn't be put on standby YET because that guy wasn't authorized to do it w/o his supervisor, who was MIA, so we had to come back to this other place that opened up at 7. The guy said to look for him, and he'd take us first and make sure we were put at the top of the list. He was really nice.

So we did more waiting, which was fun, and got there at about 6.15. We were near the front of the check-in line and this other guy that was helping us (our friend wasn't there yet) didn't know how to do it so he said to ask this other lady. Our friend guy came running up and said something to the lady about how we should be put at the top of the list. So we finally got put on the standby list, and I figured we wouldn't get on either flight since they were both so full. But we were told to come back there at 10.15 to see if we were on the flight or not.

After 3 more delightful hours of sitting and waiting, dead tired, in uncomfortable chairs, listening to a noisy Indian family reunion or rally or something, we went back. People kept asking us what we were waiting for, and we'd explain we were on standby, and they'd say "Oh OK" and go off to fix us, and then someone else would ask what we were doing. So then this group of like 7 million Orange Shirt Missionary people came up at like quarter to eleven, so they got swamped checking them in. At this point the lady told us there was no way to get on flight 202 (the 11.00 flight) and we could wait to see if we could get on the 11.15 one that makes a stop in Hamburg. Ok so I'll skip some story and go to the part where all the airline people were looking for us apparently, and we were standing right in front of them, and they didn't realized that WE were the elusive family of three (which, as I mentioned, were standing right in front of them where they told us to wait).

So eventually this guy's like, "oh, you're that family of three? Oh yeah, you've had seats for a while." So he gave us our boarding passes. At this time it's like 10 to 11 and he said, "oh I can guarantee that flight won't leave at 11. You're fine." We couldn't believe it and practically skipped toward the security place. There, this guy was freaking out at someone and saying some -very- colorful things. Right when we were about to go through the door to the security line, an airport person said "Close the doors!" So the door to our freedom was slammed in our faces. (Noooooo!) Anyway, I guess this guy was a security threat but we FINALLY got let in, almost fainting from relief.

So we got on the plane and sat right behind Peter's parents. I watched a movie (there were over 200 to choose from!) and the ceiling, when the lights were off, had little lights in it that looked like stars! So cute! Anyway, my mom gave me this sleeping pill and last time i checked, it said there were 10 hours left of flight. When I woke up, there were 2 hours left. Yesss. So nice.

Then, it turns out, my mom's suitcase made it but they think the other three bags were put on the 11.15 flight that would get in at 8 the next morning (this morning) and they'll deliver our bags to us this afternoon. So. Hopefully that will happen, cause I'm tired of wearing these clothes. Luckily Amy has toothpaste and shampoo and other stuff for me to use.

Ok bye.

K, bye

Um...bye guys. I'm leaving tonight. So enjoy America for me, and celebrate its formation on the fourth.

Is it bad that one of the things I'm most excited for is going to Zanzibar because that's where Freddie Mercury's from? Cause I am. But can you blame me? I guess the other stuff will be cool too.

So if you want a giraffe, put in your order in the next few hours so I can know how many to bring home with me.

TRY to have fun without me, if you can. It'll be tough.

Eh? Eh?

Treasure Hunt

See it?

Ikea

Swedish people are rad. What with their putting dots over all those vowels. Heh. What were they thinking?

No but seriously you should go to your nearest Ikea if one near you exists. If you don't live near one, go cry. Hard.

And also:

Tee hee

A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

Just as an unexpected surprise, I'm writing about Jeff Buckley today, this being the tenth anniversary of his death.

If I were a genius or at least more talented than I am, I would pay him the poetic tribute that he deserves. But I'm not, so I'm just going to tell you that I like--nope--love his music. His lyrics are poetry and his music is perfection.

If you don't know who I'm talking about, shame. Shame on you. Go get whatever albums you can get your hands on and listen to it all day long.

May this demi-god rest in peace.

Yes, the irony has struck me that this was written by a young, idealist moron

I was looking in my black book of wonders for things to post on my blog. I dug up this little number. Enjoy:

You know what's not fair? Ageing. Aging? I looked it up; both are correct. Ageing looks right in handwriting, while Aging looks right in type. Weird.

Your young, vital, relatively attractive years are wasted on half-formed minds and poverty. Then, when you're experienced and sage and above all, rich, you're still the same person except you're not--you're and old person now. So you no longer count. You're discounted, swept off the stage to clear the way for "the future," the young, idealist morons who think they know. They think they know everything you've had to suffer and hurt and struggle to know. And they're wrong. They don't know. They don't know at all. And these are the people were modeling our society after? They set our trends, dominate our media, run our every institution? Whose idea was this?

People should be born with an old body, and get younger as a reward for their lives. Everyone should die at twenty.

cool

i like how some of you guys actually did that

Sending Out an S.O.S.

Hellllp.

The time has come--I have to trick some people into thinking that I'm a good writer.
Everyone pick your favorite blog and tell me which one it is. The only thing is, I have to have written it. Ok. Go.

Seriously, read ALL of my blogs and tell me which you like.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It's time for a change. Several. Everyone tell me what to change and I'll...well I'll think about it. Ready, go.

Now I have that song stuck in my head.

One more thing: More poetry. There needs to be more poetry in the world, or at least my life. Everyone write no fewer than three (3) poems and send them my way in one form or another. Then I'll do something with them. Or not. Whatever. Ready go.

Maybe I'll Be a Hermit

No one on this planet is normal.

And it's nice to be niced to.

Why I love everyone

People are great. And I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever. Hordes of people are even better.
So Dick Cheney is coming to speak at graduation. Of course, this attracted a mass of protesters outside the JFSB. Fine, whatever. But one sign said: "Who's speaking next year, Osama bin Laden?"

uuummmm....

I don't know everything, and I try not to pretend otherwise.

I often say, don't listen to me when I say things cause I probably don't really know what I'm talking about. I think this can be applied to more people than I usually realize.

Almost like poetry

Care for some poems?

There once was a young girl called Masie
She was famous for being quite lazy
She just lay in bed
And it went to her head
And now, I'm afraid, she's gone crazy
-------------------------

THIS ONE'S FOR MAURY:
On a fine day all warm and sunny
Hopped a young loveable bunny
He heard a soft sound
And when he turned 'round
The hunter got him with his gunny
-------------------------

High up on a hill stood a chapel
And one day there was quite a loud grapple
Preacher rang out a bell
But it was just William Tell
Who'd aimed at his brother, not apple
-------------------------

Now some haikus. The first one's about spam.

The famous dinner
That meat which comes from a can
Why must we eat this
-------------------------

Round, chocolate cookie
What is that in your middle?
I still will eat you
-------------------------

Hero at the sword
First cries out his famous call,
"Freedom! Freedom! Free--"
--------------------------

The first sign of spring
The young buds look toward May
Oh my--how cliche

Lesser of two evils

You know how when you're sad or mad or something, and some clever one's like, "You know, it takes 34 (or however many) muscles to frown and only [17] to smile"? Do you ever think, Well then frowning would burn more calories wouldn't it?
So is frowning good for you? Like how they say shivering burns calories.
I'll try that one out next time someone tells me to smile: "It's my new weight-loss program" I'll say. You should try it too, smiley.

Um...?

Do you realize that in John Denver's song, "Sunshine on my shoulders" there is a line that says "Sunshine almost always makes me high"?

Is anyone else feeling a bit unsettled?

I have a secret....

...a secret called socks.
I love socks, because no one gets to know about them. If I want to throw something into my outfit that no one can no about, I can. I can wear black and pink argyle socks with tan and orange shoes. Sometimes I buy ridiculously colored socks that I'll never be able to wear with anything, just so I can wear them with something. And no one will know. No one ever has to know, because as long as your trousers cover your socks, no one is the wiser.

Just a release for that urge you get to have a secret sometimes.