I'm weird, here's proof

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Mother of Days

If you are a woman and you are married, read the following. If you're neither or only one of the two, I don't care, do whatever you want.

If you want to know how well your husband really knows you, talk to retail workers the day before Mothers' Day.

For me, the day before Mothers' Day means busy work days, where the store is filled with wide-eyed, desperate men looking for a woman--any woman--who will tell them what their wives want. And they will believe that woman no matter what she says. As one such woman, I try to get a sense of the wives' personality, general likes, interests...

This is where it gets interesting. Most men have no idea what their wives would want. There are varying degrees of embarrassment, from the man barely knowing his wife's name, to the attentive ones who, before they went shopping, took a look in the medicine cabinet to see what she uses already.

So ladies, for a small fee, I will be your eyes and ears. And you can bust your husband. Cause why not?

(Men, for a slightly bigger fee, I will keep my mouth shut. For an even bigger fee, I will divulge how much money your wives _actually_ spend at that store during their regular shopping. It's kind of ridiculous.)