I'm weird, here's proof

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Dark chocolate snickers are reeeeaaally good.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


recently realized what a huge snob I am.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Merry friggin Christmas

I was in the kitchen.

There was a pounding on the door. I called "come in."

They didn't come in, they just started singing. Because they were carolers.

I ran and hid behind Heather's dresser as they continued to knock and wish me a merry Christmas.

I am a terrible person.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It just occurred to me

me: ummm finals blow. so does this stupid computer class i'm taking. why am i taking it? someone said it was easy

amyleah: i don't know. bleh.

me: it's not easy. it sucks

amyleah: why am i even in school?

me: why am i alive?

pt. 2

You know it's getting near the end of the semester when you find yourself hoping to be hit by a car so you don't have to do your final projects.

Heather already has been hit by a car. Lucky.

Amy wants to know how to break her arms.

We are in trouble.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Finals countdown

Studying contains the word dying.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Tied with this!

Dang, I forgot. This wins most terrifying.

This year's winner

...of the semi-annual birthday drawing contest is:

by Amy L. Nelson

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

A Wonderful Thing

Amy and I turned on the heat to our house today.

It was 55 degrees in our house at the warmest part of the day. We figured it was time.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Has this ever happened to you?

My eyes are cold.

Also I think I sprayed straightening spray in one of them. I'm convinced the two events are unrelated though.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A Complement to Us All

"We don't have any grotesquely unattractive friends."

Thanks from us all, Amy.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


A sextet, featuring John, Pearl, and some new friends!

So you like John Daker?

Meet his friends. First is Pearl Gross, with bonus material: stand-up comedy

A stolen question

Would you rather be ridiculously good at one thing or mediocre at many things?

When asked this question, I said I would want to be really good at one thing if that thing were learning how to do things really well. Friend said that didn't count.

So you can't use that one.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


I burned a whole pan of brownies today :(

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

This ended up being kinda funny

Otherwise I wouldn't post it.

Put your iTunes on shuffle and ask the iTunes Gods each of the following questions or scenerios

What were you like as a baby?
Song: Something--the Beatles

How was your childhood?
Song: Arrival to Netherfield--from Pride & Prejudice (yeah not funny--this one doesn't make sense)

How was high school for you?
Song: Bachelorette--Bjork.

Your first kiss?
Song: Like Eating Glass--Bloc Party. Yikes.

Your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Song: I'm a Believer--The Monkees

Describe your Wedding.
Song: A Mistake--Fiona Apple

The person you're going to marry.
Song: Mean Mr. Mustard--The Beatles (I'm not making these up)

How are you going to die?
Song: The Boy With the Thorn in His Side--The Smiths

Describe your funeral.
Song: Find My Baby--Moby (??)

How do you feel about religion?
Song: My Baby Just Cares for Me--Nina Simone

(And my personal favorite):
What do you do on vacations?
Song: Stoned--Dido

Monday, October 01, 2007

Mission Accomplished

One month. No soda. Done.

I just drank like 32 ounces of DP. Crap.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I have a dream.

The other night I had a dream that I, along with Amy and Heather, rejoined my children's choir. However, we were all in my CHum class that I am currently sitting in which meets from 3-4.20 on the same day as rehearsal (in real life my class goes from 4-5.20. Oh well). So we had to alternate between missing class every other week and missing choir. I can't tell you how stressful it was.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Friday, September 21, 2007

All right then

In response to Austin's comment on my previous post, here is said joke:

Q: What's the opposite of George Strait?
A: George Michael

It was funny at the time.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The worst

It's the worst thing to make up a really funny joke on the way to school, and laugh at it all day, only to realize, several hours later, that it really wasn't funny at all.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Who wouldn't?

I would like someone to rig up a video camera inside a dishwasher while it's running, so I can see just what's going on in there.

Wouldn't you?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Thank you, WebMd

I think it's a boil!

I suddenly feel less remarkable.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

It's happened

The day I dreaded arrived: at work a man asked me, surreptitiously, if we sold any edible products such as lotions and oils.

I stood there staring at him for a minute before I could say, "Uh, no, we have nothing edible."

"Oh OK, so it just smells good?" he asked.

"Yeah. I wouldn't recommend eating any of our products."


Thursday, August 23, 2007


I don't like it when couples or men come into my store looking for massage oil.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sunday, August 19, 2007

...and Family

This one time, my sister sang in sacrament meeting in my parents' ward and my niece gave a talk in primary and no one told me about it.

This other time, I told my family, hey, if you ever go to ______ again, tell me, cause I want to go. Then that weekend I went to my house and no one was there and I called my mom to see where they were and they were at that place and they said they forgot about me.

Another time they went to dinner and didn't tell me about it. Twice.

Another time my mom said, "oh we forgot to call you about________, but I'll call you tonight and tell you what we're doing." She then proceeded to forget.

Around this same time my mom said, and I quote exactly, "You need to check in with me every once in a while so that I remember that I have a sixth child." I had talked to her earlier that day.

So very very loved.

Friday, August 17, 2007


I decided that I'm going to only be friends with my niece cause she likes me a lot more than everyone else does.

Just kidding I like you

Monday, August 06, 2007

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Everything Jeff Buckley touches turns to gold.

Listen to his cover of Elton John's "Curtains". and if you have time, his cover of The Smiths' "I Know It's Over.")

Classy Stuff and Music and Drugs

Sometimes I call Ralph the dog "Rafe" like Ralph Vaughn Williams. It just makes him seem classier. And it makes me happy. His toes are clicking on the tile. Also makes me happy.

Guys, I read this story yesterday that my creative writing teacher recommended to me cause it was about music and I wrote a thing about music once and he said I'd like this story. I did, cause the writing was really good but it was depressing. He said my story and this story were similar in content and evoking blah blah blah...but I read it and the big difference is, in my story the effects of music were positive. In this one, it seemed, music was an escape for this guy from life's pains. Music and also heroin.

But it was a cool story though cause it made the point about how everyone is trying to escape something painful in life and everyone has different methods of doing that. It contrasted these two brothers, a straight-laced school teacher and a jazz musician who keeps getting busted for drugs, and eventually the first brother comes to understand how the second brother is able to deal with pain through his music.

Pretty cool.

Malcolm just put his head on my wrist and now it's hard to type.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Monday, July 30, 2007


Sometimes I go to my blog and am disappointed to see that there's been nothing new posted.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

Saturday, June 30, 2007

At last

We somehow got to Dubai. We had to wait in JFK for 12 hours to be put on standby for an 11.00 pm flight since we missed our 11.30 am flight on account of our flight from Salt Lake being 6 1/2 hours late. Wheee! It's a long story, you don't want to know.

Well ok, here it is: Our flight from SLC kept getting pushed back for some reason, and left after 6.00 am when it was supposed to leave at midnight. So we got to JKF at 12.30 and our flight to Dubai left at 11.30. The Emirates airline lady was kind of a jerk and said the flights that night, as well as for the next 3 days or so, were completely full and good luck getting standby for any of them. We were wondering what to do, or if we'd have to by all new tickets on a different airline or what. We decided to try our luck on the 11.00 or 11.15 one that night.

The lady said this booth would open up at 4 so we could be put on standby. So we went at 3 to be first there in line. When it did open, the computer wasn't working, so we waited 45 minutes for the tech guy to come fix it. Anyway, we eventually learned that we couldn't be put on standby YET because that guy wasn't authorized to do it w/o his supervisor, who was MIA, so we had to come back to this other place that opened up at 7. The guy said to look for him, and he'd take us first and make sure we were put at the top of the list. He was really nice.

So we did more waiting, which was fun, and got there at about 6.15. We were near the front of the check-in line and this other guy that was helping us (our friend wasn't there yet) didn't know how to do it so he said to ask this other lady. Our friend guy came running up and said something to the lady about how we should be put at the top of the list. So we finally got put on the standby list, and I figured we wouldn't get on either flight since they were both so full. But we were told to come back there at 10.15 to see if we were on the flight or not.

After 3 more delightful hours of sitting and waiting, dead tired, in uncomfortable chairs, listening to a noisy Indian family reunion or rally or something, we went back. People kept asking us what we were waiting for, and we'd explain we were on standby, and they'd say "Oh OK" and go off to fix us, and then someone else would ask what we were doing. So then this group of like 7 million Orange Shirt Missionary people came up at like quarter to eleven, so they got swamped checking them in. At this point the lady told us there was no way to get on flight 202 (the 11.00 flight) and we could wait to see if we could get on the 11.15 one that makes a stop in Hamburg. Ok so I'll skip some story and go to the part where all the airline people were looking for us apparently, and we were standing right in front of them, and they didn't realized that WE were the elusive family of three (which, as I mentioned, were standing right in front of them where they told us to wait).

So eventually this guy's like, "oh, you're that family of three? Oh yeah, you've had seats for a while." So he gave us our boarding passes. At this time it's like 10 to 11 and he said, "oh I can guarantee that flight won't leave at 11. You're fine." We couldn't believe it and practically skipped toward the security place. There, this guy was freaking out at someone and saying some -very- colorful things. Right when we were about to go through the door to the security line, an airport person said "Close the doors!" So the door to our freedom was slammed in our faces. (Noooooo!) Anyway, I guess this guy was a security threat but we FINALLY got let in, almost fainting from relief.

So we got on the plane and sat right behind Peter's parents. I watched a movie (there were over 200 to choose from!) and the ceiling, when the lights were off, had little lights in it that looked like stars! So cute! Anyway, my mom gave me this sleeping pill and last time i checked, it said there were 10 hours left of flight. When I woke up, there were 2 hours left. Yesss. So nice.

Then, it turns out, my mom's suitcase made it but they think the other three bags were put on the 11.15 flight that would get in at 8 the next morning (this morning) and they'll deliver our bags to us this afternoon. So. Hopefully that will happen, cause I'm tired of wearing these clothes. Luckily Amy has toothpaste and shampoo and other stuff for me to use.

Ok bye.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

K, bye

Um...bye guys. I'm leaving tonight. So enjoy America for me, and celebrate its formation on the fourth.

Is it bad that one of the things I'm most excited for is going to Zanzibar because that's where Freddie Mercury's from? Cause I am. But can you blame me? I guess the other stuff will be cool too.

So if you want a giraffe, put in your order in the next few hours so I can know how many to bring home with me.

TRY to have fun without me, if you can. It'll be tough.

Saturday, June 09, 2007


Swedish people are rad. What with their putting dots over all those vowels. Heh. What were they thinking?

No but seriously you should go to your nearest Ikea if one near you exists. If you don't live near one, go cry. Hard.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

Just as an unexpected surprise, I'm writing about Jeff Buckley today, this being the tenth anniversary of his death.

If I were a genius or at least more talented than I am, I would pay him the poetic tribute that he deserves. But I'm not, so I'm just going to tell you that I like--nope--love his music. His lyrics are poetry and his music is perfection.

If you don't know who I'm talking about, shame. Shame on you. Go get whatever albums you can get your hands on and listen to it all day long.

May this demi-god rest in peace.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Yes, the irony has struck me that this was written by a young, idealist moron

I was looking in my black book of wonders for things to post on my blog. I dug up this little number. Enjoy:

You know what's not fair? Ageing. Aging? I looked it up; both are correct. Ageing looks right in handwriting, while Aging looks right in type. Weird.

Your young, vital, relatively attractive years are wasted on half-formed minds and poverty. Then, when you're experienced and sage and above all, rich, you're still the same person except you're not--you're and old person now. So you no longer count. You're discounted, swept off the stage to clear the way for "the future," the young, idealist morons who think they know. They think they know everything you've had to suffer and hurt and struggle to know. And they're wrong. They don't know. They don't know at all. And these are the people were modeling our society after? They set our trends, dominate our media, run our every institution? Whose idea was this?

People should be born with an old body, and get younger as a reward for their lives. Everyone should die at twenty.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


i like how some of you guys actually did that

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Sending Out an S.O.S.


The time has come--I have to trick some people into thinking that I'm a good writer.
Everyone pick your favorite blog and tell me which one it is. The only thing is, I have to have written it. Ok. Go.

Seriously, read ALL of my blogs and tell me which you like.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


It's time for a change. Several. Everyone tell me what to change and I'll...well I'll think about it. Ready, go.

Now I have that song stuck in my head.

One more thing: More poetry. There needs to be more poetry in the world, or at least my life. Everyone write no fewer than three (3) poems and send them my way in one form or another. Then I'll do something with them. Or not. Whatever. Ready go.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Maybe I'll Be a Hermit

No one on this planet is normal.

And it's nice to be niced to.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Why I love everyone

People are great. And I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever. Hordes of people are even better.
So Dick Cheney is coming to speak at graduation. Of course, this attracted a mass of protesters outside the JFSB. Fine, whatever. But one sign said: "Who's speaking next year, Osama bin Laden?"


I don't know everything, and I try not to pretend otherwise.

I often say, don't listen to me when I say things cause I probably don't really know what I'm talking about. I think this can be applied to more people than I usually realize.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Almost like poetry

Care for some poems?

There once was a young girl called Masie
She was famous for being quite lazy
She just lay in bed
And it went to her head
And now, I'm afraid, she's gone crazy

On a fine day all warm and sunny
Hopped a young loveable bunny
He heard a soft sound
And when he turned 'round
The hunter got him with his gunny

High up on a hill stood a chapel
And one day there was quite a loud grapple
Preacher rang out a bell
But it was just William Tell
Who'd aimed at his brother, not apple

Now some haikus. The first one's about spam.

The famous dinner
That meat which comes from a can
Why must we eat this

Round, chocolate cookie
What is that in your middle?
I still will eat you

Hero at the sword
First cries out his famous call,
"Freedom! Freedom! Free--"

The first sign of spring
The young buds look toward May
Oh my--how cliche

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Lesser of two evils

You know how when you're sad or mad or something, and some clever one's like, "You know, it takes 34 (or however many) muscles to frown and only [17] to smile"? Do you ever think, Well then frowning would burn more calories wouldn't it?
So is frowning good for you? Like how they say shivering burns calories.
I'll try that one out next time someone tells me to smile: "It's my new weight-loss program" I'll say. You should try it too, smiley.

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Do you realize that in John Denver's song, "Sunshine on my shoulders" there is a line that says "Sunshine almost always makes me high"?

Is anyone else feeling a bit unsettled?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I have a secret....

...a secret called socks.
I love socks, because no one gets to know about them. If I want to throw something into my outfit that no one can no about, I can. I can wear black and pink argyle socks with tan and orange shoes. Sometimes I buy ridiculously colored socks that I'll never be able to wear with anything, just so I can wear them with something. And no one will know. No one ever has to know, because as long as your trousers cover your socks, no one is the wiser.

Just a release for that urge you get to have a secret sometimes.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I've never been disappointed NOT to have strep throat

...but I am right now. The quick test came back negative, and I'll get the overnight results tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope for having strep throat. If only it were, they could cure me. But alas.

There's got to be a way to sit at home all day sleeping and watching tv, justifiably eating ice cream for dinner, AND getting sympathy without spending at least an hour or two per day lying on the floor crying. My mission is to find that thing, while not being a really broke bum. Any ideas?

Ah, man I'm so hot. Ech.

Today's menu:
2 pieces Sees' molasses chips
1 Lindt dark chocolate truffle ball
1 Bagel, cream cheese
1 Jamba juice
Some V8 splash. Mmm.

Also I'm now thinking of being an English major, for those of you who are keeping track. (Turns out, Accounting is really hard)

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Oh dear it's almost 10 o'clock

I am an ox? What does this mean? I swear the Chinese just make up new crap every day so we'll think they're more mysterious.

Enough racism. I love Asians. The point is I can't write about myself. Except in a setting such as this. I guess I mean to say I just can't write anyhing coherent about myself. I've been trying all weekend. I was almost excited to start this assignment, once I had an idea of what I was writing my personal narrative on. But it's harder than I thought and that's frustrating. I wish I could write. On Friday I went to this thing, this Reading, and there was this famous poet that came and read his poetry and it was way impressive and how does he come up with those words.

I swear, last year at this time I had way more friends than I do now. Where did they all go. I have like one left. Do I smell?

Oh gosh now you're all going to get mad cause I said I have only one friend. If it makes you feel better, YOU are that one friend I was referring to.


Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Blame it on the Inversion

Everything smells/tastes like exhaust
I can't see my mountain
I've forgotten what the sun looks like
When my hair swings in my face, instead of smelling like conditioner and the sweet scent of my green Paul Mitchell hair goo, it smells like industrial supplies. Just one more simple pleasure wrested from me.
Everyone I know is feeling more depressed. Most of all me.
Outside is in no way beautiful.
Did I mention the headaches?
This is all the inversion's fault.

Bad grades? Inversion
Oh, I'm sorry, I punched you in the face? It's cause of the inversion

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Monday, January 01, 2007

I may be crazy

There's been this tune running in my head all day. What is it? It's light and carefree, and I can't shake the feeling that it comes before something else. Like the theme song of a TV show. Except it's not that. It also makes me laugh. Help.