Almost like poetry

Care for some poems?

There once was a young girl called Masie
She was famous for being quite lazy
She just lay in bed
And it went to her head
And now, I'm afraid, she's gone crazy
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THIS ONE'S FOR MAURY:
On a fine day all warm and sunny
Hopped a young loveable bunny
He heard a soft sound
And when he turned 'round
The hunter got him with his gunny
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High up on a hill stood a chapel
And one day there was quite a loud grapple
Preacher rang out a bell
But it was just William Tell
Who'd aimed at his brother, not apple
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Now some haikus. The first one's about spam.

The famous dinner
That meat which comes from a can
Why must we eat this
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Round, chocolate cookie
What is that in your middle?
I still will eat you
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Hero at the sword
First cries out his famous call,
"Freedom! Freedom! Free--"
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The first sign of spring
The young buds look toward May
Oh my--how cliche

Lesser of two evils

You know how when you're sad or mad or something, and some clever one's like, "You know, it takes 34 (or however many) muscles to frown and only [17] to smile"? Do you ever think, Well then frowning would burn more calories wouldn't it?
So is frowning good for you? Like how they say shivering burns calories.
I'll try that one out next time someone tells me to smile: "It's my new weight-loss program" I'll say. You should try it too, smiley.

Um...?

Do you realize that in John Denver's song, "Sunshine on my shoulders" there is a line that says "Sunshine almost always makes me high"?

Is anyone else feeling a bit unsettled?

I have a secret....

...a secret called socks.
I love socks, because no one gets to know about them. If I want to throw something into my outfit that no one can no about, I can. I can wear black and pink argyle socks with tan and orange shoes. Sometimes I buy ridiculously colored socks that I'll never be able to wear with anything, just so I can wear them with something. And no one will know. No one ever has to know, because as long as your trousers cover your socks, no one is the wiser.

Just a release for that urge you get to have a secret sometimes.