No Pressure

This just made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

It's 3:08 and I'm Wide Awake

You know that game Whack-A-Mole?

I'm the mole the last couple weeks. I'm trying not to be, I've even been determined not to be smacked around.

Something happens, something bad, something that gets me down. I analyze it and see that it's just life; bad things happen and you go on. So I move on, feeling hopeful, determined to move through it, more excited about life and WHACK!--something else lands a blow.

Again, I tell myself, that's life. Life is hard. For everyone. So I compose myself, try harder this time, feel even more hopeful, think "hey, I'm gonna do well from here on out" WHACK!

etc.
etc.
etc.


It gets tiresome, being the mole.

I'm thinking of what I'd rather be, and for some reason the first thing that comes to mind is one of those springy snakes that go in the fake can of peanuts. You approach it, thinking it's something normal and kinda boring, and ZOING! You get a surprise which later, after you've thought about it, you laugh at. I want to be that now please.

Where Have All the Good Friends Gone?

I was looking through old Facebook photos tonight and I realized something: I miss having friends.

It appears I used to have...you know...friends. Or at least friends-in-law, meaning people who were friends with my like two friends who came over all the dang time so it felt like I had friends too. But still. Where are you guys? I miss you?
Oh that wasn't a question.



(*disclaimer: if we are currently friends and hang out, I don't mean to discount you. I'm only talking to the ones I don't see anymore. Don't be mad.)

Don't judge

Much of me wishes that Fingernail Guy was packing heat tonight

Attention Ignorant Softheads:

Being female is NOT a "persuasion." The word "persuasion" has to do with deeply held convictions or beliefs.

Being genetically a female is not an opinion. At least not when you describe women as being of the "female persuasion." So don't do it. It's just gone too far.




Everything is adding up and I had to subtract this one thing.

Get Ready

...to look at this. And weep.



I waaaaant it!

Tomorrow or now

Some people remain actual friends.

Quote from dinner:
Me: "What is _____ doing lately?"
Other: "Mmm, nothing. Sleeping around. The house."

Sleep comes in feast or famine. Right now, the latter.

I've been super happy lately. Except not. My mom asked me once why I don't tell her when there's something wrong. She doesn't ask the right questions. Or at the right time. Not her fault. Mine. When I act happiest is often when I'm very much not. Why would anyone do that?

So what is the point? Why am I saying this? Does it need a point? Sympathy. Answers. Human connection?
No. I only want to see what frustration looks like on a screen.

There's a something just out of my reach that I want; it's been just out of my reach for a very long time. I've been trying to figure out how to get at it. And for the life of me I just can't. And life passes me by.
All I'm saying is I (try to) accept that life is hard. But right now it's just so so frustrating. And I'm tired. I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.


So negative. I'll post something positive tomorrow.





Maybe.